Penny & Anyone, Forever

by Trestin Eeling

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04:11

credits

released April 19, 2015

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Trestin Eeling Smithtown, New York

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Track Name: Silentongue Syllables
I get so scared when the second hand’s moving too fast
And the silence is louder than I’ve ever heard
Everyone is drunk saying “I love you I love you I love you”
And here I am sitting silent and sober

I get so tired carrying these three words on my tongue
And they all have a dumpster to toss them in
Me, I’ve thrown away ABCD_FGH_JK_MN_PQRST__WX_Z
Scared, when the clock ticks, will I ever say anything?

So I down some beers and get my voice back
And I… uh…
Where’s my “I love you”s?
Where’s my “I love you”s?
This sucks
Track Name: Windowless
Plotless, with nothing, I sing insignificant
Bottle-caps stacking up
Stare at me - I know you can’t
Darkness is dumb, but without a window
I just sleep without the sun
It could be day by now for all I know

And am I being vague?
And am I sleeping in when the morning comes?
I don’t mean to be but need this to be known

Where do you see yourselves wandering to?
And haven’t you wondered who wants you not to wander?
I know it’s only sometimes, but those sometimes are intense
Like, I’ll sing a love song but then must live with what comes next

And am I being blunt?
And am I scaring you when the morning comes?
I don’t mean to be but need this to be known
I forgot that moments change, now you’re the only one
Track Name: Never Fall
Everyone’s back with the people they’re fucking
Everyone’s back with them
Where do they see themselves wandering to?
And haven’t they wondered about me (who can’t take it on)?

Everyone’s dancing in the kitchen at Dillon’s house
Everyone’s laughing around
Everyone’s happy with their arms around each other
And it’s all erasing my sound
Everyone’s screwing it up and- and-
And it’s all erasing my plot

I mean the plot I last left in west Massachusetts
And I bet she’s with anyone, just like the rest
I mean the one I didn’t kiss
And I haven’t seen her since
And I’m not getting anywhere by singing all this
I gotta drive there
No, walk there, I’m already tipsy

Everyone’s back with the people they’re fucking
Everyone’s back with them
Where do they see themselves wandering to?
And haven’t they wondered about me and my plot?

I mean the plot I last left in west Massachusetts
And I bet she’s with anyone, just like the rest
I mean the one I didn’t kiss
And I haven’t seen her since
And I’m not getting anywhere by singing all this
I gotta drive there
No, walk there, I’m already tipsy

They tell me I’m blind to my Penny-ful trends
But I know they’re drunk, they make no sense
Oh what happened to my plot?
Oh she’s just a friend
Well it figures my present heart falls straight from my head

They tell me I’m blind to my Penny-ful trends
But I’m getting drunk so I might make no sense
Well I fucked my last “plot”
I keep saying that she’s just a friend
Well it figures my present heart falls straight from my head

But no, I’ll never fall!

Everyone’s back with the people they love
Everyone’s back with them

Everyone’s backing down
Track Name: Myselfish
I’m not falling for you and I
I’m not falling for you
Yeah I’m just singing a song
And NOTHING ELSE

Don’t get so close
Know my knows aren’t spoken
Don’t run so much
Know I don’t have a sole now
It tore at the pavement
The paint ain’t safe yet
Don’t get so close
Know my knows aren’t spoken

They’re soulful but spineless
My time isn’t binding
To misses or misters
But distance is bliss
There’s a blister to itch
And a niche I have missed
Staying inside some silent lips ain’t the same
It’s not me
No it’s not me
It’s not me
It’s not me
…It’s me

I’m not falling for you and I
I’m not falling for you
Yeah I’m just singing a song
And NOTHING ELSE

It’s hard to feel anything
If you never let your guard down
And I hardly feel anything
But a something’s coming from the ground
So I will fall for a bit
I SWEAR, JUST FOR A MINUTE
But once I fall I hit the ground
…well that was quick, and I’m all in

Etch our names into a tree:
“Penny & Anyone”
Track Name: Broken Moment
Aaaaaahhh

As it drizzles they all go inside
Saying, “A storm’s a-comin’”
And I’m stuck with no face
But got faith I’ll find the one
The one is changing all the time
Tonight she’s howling all her talk
Into a telephone and sending
All that fruit up to her love

And as it drizzles I stay outside
Smoking up to slow it down
And I get lost in vagueness
When I wish I could be blunt
Then on the deck I lay alone
The rain is breaking up my love
And for a second they’re separate
But then back to being one

Aaaaaahhhh
Track Name: The Only Thing Ever Worth Doing
I should really learn how to use the phone
Before the end of summer
Before I move away to Arizona
She to Buffalo

I should really learn how to use the phone
Before the end of summer
Before I move away to Montana
She-haw Tennessee

I should really learn how to use the phone
Before the end of summer
Before I move to Portland, Oregon
And she to Brazil

I should really learn how to use the phone
Before the end of summer
Before I move to Siena Lunga, Tuscany
And she to Antarctica

I should really learn how to use the phone
Before the end of summer
Before I move away to the moon
And she’ll stay in Smithtown

These are the songs
All sung from the porch
In the pouring rain
Saying we’re separating either way
From now on I’ve always loved you

So they walked as wooly mammoths
Their nomadic lonely lives
At opposite ends of the globe
The rain got them soaked
And the snow froze them solid
Such a sad fate for our so plaisted protagonist

“There’s no doubt in my mind I’ll see her again!”
He thought to himself in peace
As the last bit of rainwater began to freeze
It crept up his eyes until his eyelids were ice
And seemingly important geometric shapes
Danced in and out of his sight

Then after what felt like the whole winter
He wished so bad to just finish the story already
“Penny & Anyone, Forever”
Or at least “The Un-freezing and Re-meeting”
Where nothing was noteworthy from right now until then
He would write - well - nothing

While it might not be noteworthy
It was still happening
Which was actually terrifying
Because if this time between the freezing and storybook ending
Happen to him it happens to her
And what if she makes a mistake and meets the one?
Well, there’s always another ‘one true love’

He wasted a lot of time there
Pretending to be in a corny love story
Figuring the most efficient way to break the blinding ice
Was to get up and move
He snapped out of that broken moment
And into the party he was hiding in plain sight from

His soaked clothes needed a new home
And he still had the perfect ending to write
A few more rock bottom moments to mourn in
The morning, which always feels like a new beginning
Which is the perfect way to end a story
Although the sun always comes
The rest of the night does as well
Track Name: Bed Blind
I lost my face when I fell
I lost my faith when I came
I kept it quiet ‘cause I didn’t have a mouth anymore
Let my eyes go as they rolled away

I lost my face when I fell
I lost my faith when I came
I lost the ability to care about things
And so I did not care about getting that ability back

I guess I care less every YES they sing
I think I’m sick or still a kid
But I don’t know
No, I just wanna scream and fuck it all though

I lost my face when I fell
I lost my faith when I came
I kept it cryptic in the best of my bones
Lonely though that no one ever knows

I lost my face when I fell
I lost my faith when I came
I crept back into thinking ‘anything goes’
And so ghosts lived where, love, it should have been

I guess i care less every YES they sing
I think I’m sick or still a kitten-
I’m tired and I just wanna cry and shut off my mind

Then got out of bed and puked
Wobbled up the block back home
Vision’s twisted itself up
When I find my eyes…

I will be seeing straight so
I will know just what to say
But for now fall into sheets
Faithless and dumb

I lost my face when I fell
I lost my faith when I came
I kept it cryptic in the best of my bones
Lonely though that no one ever knows

I lost my face when I fell
I lost my faith when I came
I lost the ability to care about things
And so I did not care about anything at all
Track Name: Where the Split Should Be
You mean so much to me
When I see you in dreams
It’s still so hard to tell what’s real

You mean so much to me
When I see you in dreams
Somnolence never lets me be

Because sometimes I wake up
There’s static everywhere
And it spirals and swirls, oh yeah

Yeah sometimes I wake up
With static everywhere
And it spirals and swirls like it used to
I thought it was gone when I last said “NO MORE”

Oh I used to wish nights never to end
Now I dread every one to begin
This one did
And like always
I don’t do anything
Track Name: Penny
You came from the bookshelf
And Penny, you just swept me away
And I read how you fell in love with anyone
And so I fell in love with everyone
You left me in New York
And San Remo is not the same

You left me, a duckling, I never got to finish this page
Track Name: To Kill a Symbol
I can’t feel my heart when Penny’s not in it
And know I don’t need her to feel anything
It’s just that wandering lost is a dumb/boring plot

I’m sure I lost it all when I carved in the tree
Because an etching is physical, permanent to me
Just wanna wait for the sun but the night still comes
I kept on falling in love ’til I loved everyone
So I went back to the porch to cut down the tree
And if there never was one I’ll just kill what it means
The symbol wasted so much
So Penny, you’re dead to me
Track Name: Spoils
Don’t get so close
Know my knows aren’t spoken
They’re soulful but spineless
My time isn’t binding
To misses or misters
But distance is bliss
There’s a blister to itch
And a niche I have missed

Staying in some silent lips ain’t the same
But it’s not me
No it’s not me, no it’s not me
No it’s the way my watermelon wasn’t taken
Now it’s rotten on my chest

And don’t run so much
Know I don’t have a sole now
It tore at the pavement
The paint, well it ain’t safe yet
It must be oil based
What a waste the wait to dry
Running complicated drills
While my feet are hurting, still

And no, it’s all I know
It’s all I know
No it’s the way my watermelon rotted up
I need some one to clear it off

The weight of the stage
And the “stay please” pleaded
Didn’t it dim with limbs and their limitless simpleness?
Stake out the one, wandering simpleton
Singing sinking love in is the simplest thing
And it’s sweet
And it is good
And my new seed
It’s sprouting buds
And it grows
Now I’ve got to give my fruit or it’ll spoil
And it’s got to be to you